Nerd Problem #3 : Fantasy Names

Problem #3 : Fantasy thy name is melodrama

As a huge fantasy nerd, I have a confession.

I really hate dislike 97% of all fantasy names. Most of these names don’t follow the rules of naming. What are these rules, you ask?

I don’t know. But they’re there. I promise. 

Fantasy names are a problem for me. Here are three reasons why.

Reason #1 : Fantasy names are overly dramatic

Example : Four (Divergent Series)

I’m sorry. That’s not a name.

Another example : Wylan Van Eck (Six of Crows)

What name book are authors using? What does that name even mean? 

Yet another example : Prince Greening Grandemalion  AKA  “Po” (The Graceling Series)

Why not just name him “Po?” I get he’s a prince, but still.

Reason #2.1 : They’re spelled weird.

Example : Miryam (A Court of Thorns and Roses Series)

Please. Just spell it “Miriam.”

Another example : Evalin Galathynius (A Throne of Glass Series)

After saying this slowly to make sure you got it, you realize it’s just the name “Evelyn.”  Also, that surname.

Reason #2.2 : If they’re spelled weird, how on earth can I pronounce them “correctly?”

Example : Maryse Lightwood (The Mortal Instruments Series)

Mare-riss? Mar- eye-z? Mary-sa? Mah-reese? Maybe, “Marissa?”

Another example : Sazed (Mistborn Series)

Your guess is as good as mine, but if it rhymes with “glaze,” I quit.

Reason #3 : I won’t remember twenty unfamiliar names. I’m sorry. It’s not happening.

Example : Every Brandon Sanderson book ever.

If you’ve read Sanderson, you know what I mean. If you haven’t read him, you’ll find it out.

Another Example : Red Rising Series

I can keep Darrow, Cassius, Mustang, and Sevro straight.  I don’t have space for any more long  exotic names like Alexandar au Arcos, Apollonius au Valii-Rath, or Atalantia au Grimmus (And those are just the A-names.) In my head, the rest of the cast fades out of focus.

Bonus Reason: There are too many Ys and Zs and Vs floating around. Just saying.



6 thoughts on “Nerd Problem #3 : Fantasy Names

  1. Haha, I can understand your frustrations with fantasy names. I too have problems with them at times, though at others I enjoy their unique qualities. For example, I love the hobbit names in The Lord of the Rings. They are simple but also not exactly ordinary- except for Sam, of course, but then Gamgee isn’t an everyday name. But yeah, authors can often get a little carried away with trying to make their names significant or different. Sometimes it fits into the story, and sometimes…it just doesn’t. You’re trying to hard, mate. Just call him Jim and be done with it.
    I love all your reasons! They made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve always thought that Maryse Lightwood’s name was pronounced as Mah-reese (because I know people in real life who’s names are said like that) but I was completely shocked when the Shadowhunters TV show pronounced it as Mare-Riss😱great post and points made 🤗🌺

    Liked by 1 person

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